W-A-S-H-A-T-E-R-I-A

wash·a·te·ria. noun \ˌwä-shə-ˈtir-ē-ə, ˌwȯ-\. Definition of WASHATERIA. chiefly Southern. : a self-service laundry.

A washateria is where the Downs family does their laundry every two weeks. The name itself doesn't get much respect. Even as I type, the built-in dictionary on blogger refuses to recognize the word, degrading it with haughty and ruthless red underlining. We, however, are big fans of this chiefly Southern mainstay. If you will recall, we swapped in-house laundry services for glass doorknobs, and we haven't looked back thanks to these perks:

1) All of our laundry done in an hour-and-a-half.
2) It's only a few blocks away.
2) All the telenovelas (a Latin-American soap opera) you can ask for during that hour-and-a-half on a twelve-inch television. There's a new one out called La Reina del Sur about the female leader of one of Mexico's drug cartels. Based on a true story. Life-changing television.
3) Children who will watch the Spanish version of Shrek on their portable DVD player with your son while you do laundry (apparently it is funnier in Spanish).
4) Lots of opportunities to practice Spanish.

The one non-perk: Sitting in work after laundry day and being tickled under your clothes by what turns out to be a 10-12 inch black hair that does not belong to you, your wife, or your son.

Pre-diaper changing rundown (this father's perspective)

1) Sell it. If he thinks you're enjoying it he will too.
2) Don't sell it too much. Excessive joy seems to make him need to go more.
3) Be fast you fool. Just because he went doesn't mean he won't go again. Soon.
4) His body is entirely capable of going pee then poop, poop then pee, both simultaneously, and any number of unimaginable combination (see #3).
5) Bundle the old diaper after the new one is on. It can wait. His can't.
6) Even though the old one can wait, at least get it out of his reach. Remember, now he can grab and chew.
7) Watch for the kicks. Changing him on the bed puts his legs level with your pelvis and you've talked about having more kids.
8) Do not be shocked and distracted by color, quantity, or smell. You lived in the dorms, you've seen worse.
9) Breathe through your mouth.

The Texas Lexicon

While wandering through Baby Gap the other day, a cute little Texan boy approached Booker:

"He's FIXIN' to grow!!"

Indeed, little cowboy, he is.