I may be unable to help in the event of an emergency

On a recent flight back from Amy and Alph's I actually reviewed what the flight attendant says to review but you never do. This is what I saw:

What do these hieroglyphics even mean? My best guess involves using laser vision to break through your window because there isn't any exit because the plane landed on a sandbar and then the ocean. If that's the case I'm screwed. Superman and I haven't spoken for years.